Musings

The words in my head

“Ask her not to waste her time writing blogs, and switch to more productive things.” The message that I receive, doesn’t bother about being subtle, and is in my face. I pause for a moment to imbibe it, nod and move on to the next conversation. There are some things you know that are not worth explaining to the world. But the thought stays with me, day after day.

Productive work. Who defines it? I look at the list of scientific articles that I have published.Β  Slaving hours at my desk. Burning the midnight oil.Β  Has anyone ever read them? Yes, they embellish my CV. Perhaps they earned me promotions at one stage in life, but would I define them as productive? Do I have pleasant memories of the process of writing them? All I remember today are heartbreaks. But there are times when I wonder if they are even worthy of being called research?

Life tends to go on auto-pilot mode. You join the herd- doing what everyone does. Nodding away to everything that is thrust on your desk. Somewhere in the process you lose a bit of the real you. The quiet time I spend formulating my thoughts, helps me slow down and discover myself. It is my way of getting back to my default settings.

Writing has always been a passion. To tell someone who wants to write, to stop doing so is futile. Even if I’m not putting it down on paper, chains of these words form in my head, hour after hour. If I’m not typing on my keyboard, I will be probably scribbling on some scrap of paper anyway. How does one stop the rhythm of thoughts which are desperate to be heard?

Writing is not an option, need or want. It is a part of me. It is a lifeline. Having to explain why I write is moronic. And to think that stopping me from writing will improve my so called ‘productivity’ is a delusion.

(The photograph is from a work of Dustin Yellin)

 

8 Comments

  • Lakshmi iyer

    You are so articulate in your thoughts and words,dear Anshu..I wish I could be half as articulate as you are..atleast by words…your ‘musings’ are really worth musing about and they amuse me no less..so,pls don’t you ever stop musing n posting..as I have mentioned even earlier,I look forward to your columns and I feel so snug n comfortable reading them! Cheers to you and your posts…take care…. Lakshmi 😊😊

  • Amrita

    When will people learn to appreciate that everybody is different? As long as they give you reasons to write, enjoy the comments too!

  • Vasumathi

    In another context, someone called art as elitist. So I asked – β€œDo you know that art in different forms can be therapy for those who are sick”?
    Luckily the person had the grace to admit that the earlier judgement was wrong
    Sadly there are people who have their own preconceived ideas and judgements
    Let them lie – whether they are sleeping or awake 😊

  • Rashmi Tomar

    Your are a magician with words . It never ceases to surprise me how you create an interesting story from an absolute mundane everyday event .
    Nay sayers will always be around to pass judgement .

  • Debajyoti Sengupta

    Creativity comes from surplus energy. A sportsman uses that energy in his field of activity. Similarly a writer uses it to express in words. There’s no part of it that doesn’t delight the creator. As such, the expressions of art and literature cannot be called products. Unlike what we do for our livelihood, the art and literature are so spontaneous that you don’t have to work it out. One just untaps her spring of emotions enriched with experience and adorned with language. It’s a matter of regret that movies and plays now come under the category of ‘Industry’.and are valued on TRP. So art and literature are slowly becoming a part of market economy and defined in business terms.

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